Friday, July 30, 2004

July 2004

00.31.34/29-07-04
U know what? I don’t believe dat u wer @ d gym. Coz wat wud u b doing der @ 130 n the morning, huh? Not pumpin som iron! Maybe u were pumping someone else. Ur making m so angry. U ddn’t even apologise. U don’t sim to be sory at all. Bahala ka bahala ka.

05.44.29/28-07-04
S inaccessible! Maging sensitive ka naman kung minsan. Nakakapikon n e! ur not only killing m with ur hohum attitutde, ur also killin me with worry. Buti p maghiwalay na lang, kung papahirapan mo lang ako lagi lang ganito! U don’t even apologize for it. Argh!!

05.39.31/28-07-04
ciguro 3p ko lang manggulo, ano? Nakakainis ka na! Wala k na nga dito pilit mo pang pinaparamdam d distance between us! Pano ba yan ngayon, d ko alam pupuntahan ko 4 my interview, and the only person HU can help m, d first person I think of everytime to help me.

05.37.15/28-07-04
Alam mo, ayoko sanang magalit pero pangatlo na to e. sobra k naman! Lagi mo na lang akong pinapahirapan wen it comes to caling u. malay ko ba kung pinatay ka nga jan, e d mo naman sneseryoso my request 4 u to be available on ur fon @ al tymes. Kala mo.

22.41.03/27-07-04
Uy nga pala, wala daw ung reading lolita in Tehran s AEON. Yan kasi u stopped me from getting it when we went there! Ung bookshop sa katips. Wala naa!e 700 lang pa naman un, hardcover na. Sa iba, d paperback costs as mucyh, hu3.

21.14.42/27-07-04
oi pokyo. M watching imelda by myself sa SM. Kaka ung katabi kong girl, nagmamagaling, bwat reaction nya ay binubroadcast, ang ingay-ingay. Hay naku. 2m iv an interview at a PR co. buti na lang hapon kung di id havta stand it up!






02.54.03/17-07-04
I just cant belive ma thinks I’m madamot. I bought her clothes for mother’s day when I got my grad gifts, except from them… I paid for movie tickets when we watched. Twice. I give naman pag merong ibibigay a? gues she forgot na. And maybe becoz it’s not a lot. =’(

02.45.49/17-07-04
Pinutol mo ata e? der were 30 secs left before it reached 15 mins. He3. Sabi din ni ma, malapit na daw m maging nanay and when I do il realise al; the things she says. Malapit na,ows?? F ud have ur way lang no… but m not ready. And wer wud ja make me live?

02.07.00/17-07-04
Bakit ganun? Momy thinks pagdadamutan ko ata sya, like when I earn m own keep. How can dat be e she and my dady are always n my plans? D lang nya alam e. d rin nya alam how I want to give herall the monetary gifts I’ll get for my birthday. And how I wanna hug her in bed at night.

00.55.31/17-07-04
Hi pox, prob w momy agan. Ewan ko ba. Il text u later when pwede na tayo talk.

22.08.07/16-07-04
Oi didja call? Wre at loved flock!

05.48.42/16-07-04
I also like MORJAYNE (from Morgaine, hafsis of king Arthur), jayenne. D combinations r many! Nakakatawa ko no? I love makin up names. F m gonna have boys, I want literary names like Guliver, Gallahad, Gawain, Reuel, Mordrd. He3

05.39.09/16-07-04
BB! Been thinking up baby names. I want Gildonna Moreen Skye. Three kami dun! F m gona have a girl with u, she’s be dawnella jaynine frantessa. But then I also want imogen and leola. Guess w should have many! He2. Ako, I wana b ardonna maegan.

04.44.22/15-07-04
BB m still up. Sakit ngipin ko. Kati! Un bang front tooth mo, d ba masisira na? I hope it doest hurt like mine. EJ is making me apply where shes working later at 9am, pro tulog pa me nun e. tsaka don’t wana work w her; nagaaway kami e. amishoopo. yabu


19.47.55/14-07-04
I didn’t give her cash coz she owne me 5.7k. dun na lang isusubtract whatever d amount of my calls to you.. cguro naman d un kukulangin. M tired of living apart too. Ano ba media jobs jan? madami ba advtg and PR agencies? Yoko corp com, or inhouse PR.

01.19.53/14-07-04
I think pwede naman till aug. kahit la ka na muna gift 2 me.. I think what she nieeds it for is the kitchen which she wants done before she leaves 18 august. Or to pay for dady’s cuzns wife. May pagka –6 un e and we’ve been paying interest to her in the last couple of years.

15.03.49/08-07-04
m on the way to abs na po. Bakit d k open ng yahoo account? Ako n lang nag open.

23.23.22/07-07-04
Magagawa mo kayang patayin ako if, hypothetically, I cheated on u?m updating my cv. Wl u send me urs ryt now so I can c the format?

17.36.26/07-07-04
k basta promise ul open ha? Den text me afterwards. Nagulat naman m dun sa pic mo sa cv pge sa ung webby. Tapang ng feezz, sistah! Ayos ang pose!d kaya nainlove dun c pinay?


17.12.10/07-07-04
bb, will u open a new yahu account for m? sobra bagal m conectn e. try these: dmt.corpin,dmt_corpin, donna.corpin,donna_corpin. K? salamas PO.

17.03.07/07-07-04
e mtagal ang connection ko e, send mo na lang email pls. How do ya indicate sa CV marunong ka mag internet? Or better f I put inet user lang?

14.45.11/07-07-04
yes yes yes, nag text din xa ng early. I set up an appointment w d tfc person 2m pm. Tapos m goin to dat hinge media ofc n mkati after.. sana di na ko mahirapan. Il take either if theyl have me.
Niway, I wana go out today, nabuburyong ako e.

03.23.56/07-07-04
Oist!baad mitoy. Behave. Itlip na ang momy e. =p. pro wag ka hanap iba ha. Mas bad un.03.11.36

03.11.36/07-07-04
Lov u, nite.

00.04.57/07-07-04
Hrap din umintindi sa ayaw magpaliwanag. Hay, ewan.

23.08.34/06-07-04
Ta mo! U just stopped texting. Kc ok n, d ba? Dyan ka magaling e. nakakainis din talaga minsan yang pagka non confrontational mo. Parang la kang pakiramdam!

22.36.22/06-07-04
d mo gets un e. para kang patay pag nanjan k. u forget all ur promises. So how am I supposed to fil d2? Wat does it take to text 1st thing in d morning? Gusto mo kac paeasy-easy ka lang. D pwede un. Maghirap ka naman. And by that I mean effort, hidni hrap sa away.

04.21.10/05-07-04
I told you , the least you can do is to talk to me in ur absence. Pro even that u cant do well., u have the gall to hung up! And just coz u didn’t lyk like wat u were hearing/ wers that ati


22.32.54/06-07-04
Para kang bagyong dumaan, ginulo ang sked, buhok, damit ko tapos parang wala nce n umali.s kaya naman parang passing fancy lang din ako, reserve girl, parausan, wathavyu! F m KSP,al d more dat I need attention wen ur away

22.26.08/06-07-04
e bakit pagdating sa awayan nkakareply ka agad, ha?? Kaya aawayin na lang kita lagi..waha2brace urself! Haynaku naman kc, d mo pinararamdam ang sinasabi mong nararamdaman mo! Super showy k nga wen ur here e. Pag alis mo naman, wala na.

22.17.21/06-0704
I soo love tyring w u. its d only time u seem to give a damn, u make m feel ur still alive, and reply agad. M gona do dis mo! Donwory pokyo, d kita gananunin. S u Lang m. kya MAGTEXT k agad@ madalas, OK, para d ka nakakabasa ng ugly messages =p

21.53.14/06-07-04
wat, ur gona do more? Ooh, im scared! What m gonna do sana s just so d score is settled. Pra la na ko ibbato sau. D ba un gusto mo?! Pero f ur planning on doin more, ibang usapan na un. U realize dat f u disgust me, ders no way m gona tie myself 2 u forever?

20.14.03/06-07-04
DNT worry, wne I do it I wont tell you. Or woud u rader that I do? U keep accusing m of cheating on u wen iv never been with another guy on a date ever. Kaw lang kaya gumawa nun, pero sa kin mo binibintang!kya para d k lumabas na lias,ill do it for u.!u’ll c.

17.24.53/06-07-04
HA u think ur da 1 hu tries to understand?? Tigas ng mukha mo a. kaw nga nagsabi u wouldn’t try to get me. Hu gave up before he even tried? Tanggapin mo na lang kc” men aren’t mind readers. Women r, but it doesn’t miean I exist to please u, bow to ur will.

23.27.36/05-07-04
Nauna ka and dats diff. I only did what you did. D mo din kaya maniwala. N innocent ung k Iñigyo. Yes il blame u. coz it will be ur fault if u let it happen. U cant recognize a cry for change when u hear it. Niway it wont be cheating coz I don’t love u niway.

04.21.10\05-07-04
I told you the lieast u can do is to talk to me n ur absence. Pro even that u cant do well. U have d gall to hung up ! and just coz u ddin’t like what u were hearin. Were dat attitude gonna get us?? Best f we don’t talk anymore. Wer only losing respect for each other more and more.

01.04.43/05-07-04
clinD pipes regularly, wehehe. Tapos kwento ni ma, minsan daw nag comment c dad na bakit kaw daw, u landed a gud job.. ewan ko lang kung anong context. Pro positiv naman pakinggan, ano?! Gusto daw sana nya tour kami in two years sa Europe.

01.33.39/05-07-04
Sa sa eng ang hanggang akbay ka la? Hehe. Ako my version.. mya ko na sabihin. Ang interesting kwento ko pala nun b4 ako magalit sa u ay: momy sed 1 time baka ka daw magkaprostate cancer kc matagal na ung binata… ha2, kung alam lang nya dat u.

01.10.14/05-07-04
tsaka libog, pwede mong ipagmalaki, mwahaha. Try to hold on to ur job. F los it now, how are u gonna get ur biz off the ground? Kaw pa naman ang inaasahan nilang mag infuse ng funds, right? Pag sumerldo na ako, ill make u over. Pra masaya.





xxxxxx

18.25.50/05-07-04
BKT ako mageexert ng effort and bend over backward for something I don’t want anymore? D naman kta gugustohin ulit kung do lang gusto mi momy. At kng ang panliligaw mo ang pang-aaway, at pagbibigay ng disappointments 1 after another, wag na lang. Id rather defy my ma.


18.18.35/05-0704
Pro id wager that wont be enough for you to act up. Masaya ka na to just let things happen 2 u instead of u making them happen. U never cud fight for me. A l u know is 2 fight we m. and 2 keep accusing m of having other reasons for rejecting calls. Maybe its type to make those reasons true.

18.18.23/ 05-05-04
Niway y never believe m though my conscience is clear. I don’t cu calls n d middle of them, I reject b4 dey even begin. Bastos ung ina and dat’s what u did. I ext u ryt after rejecting ur call o mollify u. u don’t get guilty when u don’t pick up even if u hear the ring.

18.03.59/ 05-07-04
I mean nothing! Gusting gust kitang saktan ngayon. I never was able to before. Pro cguro, pwede na rin. Di naman kita mahal. And ur bent on not doing anything about it, 2 change it. Tingnan natin kung matatanggap mo un later. F id even giv u d time of day then.


17.57.35/ 05-07-04
w angela, u went out with frends 2 drink. And malay ko wat u and those girls talked about. U dliberatley kept it from me and alam ko, u were talking mirage P nga w manens! And ur parents were pushing u. ung s min in NIGS, biruan lang. Tel me, whc is heavier?

17.53.11/ 05-07-04
pinagpipilitan mong gusto ko s ñgo? Fine, gus2ng gusto ko sya nun. Pra d na ko umiyak, para sumaya naman ako.2 get m mind off u. thing is I never acted on those wants. U did. 1 told u about the things we talk about para pagselosin ka. E kaw? Nauwa ka.


17.30.13/05-07-04
U consntantly let me down na nga, d mo pa ko marespeto. Der r so many things wrong wd this rel, and d gravest s trying to revive it coz u think u still love me (which is a big bold lie) and coz I’m doing it at the bhest of my mother who clearly is the only 1 fond of u.

17.22.06/05-07-04
wana ow up dat what u did s worse. D ko alam why I should stay and deal with that din of treatment, e d naman ako hed over hills w u. ang gusto ko lang naman ay profuse apologies for what u did with dose girls. But u cant even face d fact. Kya sa u na lang pagkabastos mo.

17.18.06/05-07-04
Watever you think is the reason for rejected calls, alam ko ang toto, kahit ayaw mo un paniwalaan. Tsaka I didn’t think what I was talking about deserved a hang up from u. which is worse than rejecting a call. Kinakausap ka tapos papatayin mo na lang bigla. And only coz u didn’t…

Xxxxxxxxxxx

23.11.22/04-07-04
I could join u der, sure. Q s, should I? Keep telling u naman, erase all the doubts from m mind first.. don’t think magsasawa ma agad f we see each other regularly na. Kc naman, how much dya think all d time we spent together together in five years actually amount 2? D set ups wats nakakasawa.

23.03.08/04-07-04
yan m fon keeps dying since u called.. momy says pautang!ha3. ung pledge mo daw pati.. pero ako muna pautangin mo ha? Iv gudwill sale to catch! Ma bouth m a skirt and a blouse ulit, I look old naaa! Natatawa ko s itsura ko e, hehe.

19.06.14/04-07-04
ubos na both my load and momy’s di na ko binayaran kaya cant watch cine manila @ greenbelt, huhu. I wonder how its b f nandito ka lang. Mas murang magcommunicate pro mas maliit din sahod. Malayo k pa rin bt ill get to see u more often, which would make me fight less with you and lambing more.

00.01.08/04-04-04
The third option (slimmers) sa the gym I was talking about. Dats wat dady tried to push m into when he was still here, but duy, wen I finally warmed up to the idea, he shelved it. Kahit bowling d m pagbigyan. I don’t wana go to up.. how do u know I kiss better than krsten?!

23.15.50/03-07-04
cant afford it just yet daw. Bkt ganun? Dady’s bin playing tennis for the longest time. Ang ganda ng wedding gown ni MJ. D nicest of all was their very heartfelt kiss. Hay, to be n love again.

23.17.53/03-07-04
ang drama mo ha! Didn’t wana work yet coz I thot I was joining a gym. But not gona happen. MSHKIN na ko, sobra nila ako tinitipid. They wont even leme bowl. It would have been nice to take up a sport. I thought day wanted me to pay attention to my health, but they

19.57.53/03-07-04
Ohm god, o loov spiderman 1!!! Watch it as soon as u can. MJ s lovely lovely lovely. U liked her in the first, d b? she’s even better wd this 1. tsaka nakakainlove story nila!ha

31.12.35/03-07-04
naku ha, dnt tel me ur willing to get sacked ovr something ur not getting anything 4. sa kin nga d mo kayang isacrifice job mo, y lose it over abs? U shouldn’t allow dat. Fyt bak no, ano ka ba?kala ko ba malakas loob mo?

04.17.46/03-07-04
pretty good? I wasn’t xpectn dat reax.. I don’t think uv read it. Or ung motime lang ang binasa mo. Kc dats were I wrote about d six-month brek, which iv changed my mind about, ok?? D mo lang alam e. kanina nga we bought suits for interviews.

20.56.56/02-07-04
d m nag open ng email since I woke up, I go online late at night till early morning e. ma ang I just had dinner at tokyo2. can bing lang nag loved flock. W bouth great polos for dady. Gust2 din kita bilhan. Sabi sa u bilit tayo nung andito ka pa e.

04.51.03/02-07-04
f ug et this, gud. F u don’t, better. Ders something il make u see... tho m not sure I want u to. I know its Friday, u wont c it ryt away. Niway, here it is: mushtash.blogspot.com

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Excuses, excuses

Yeah, work is no excuse.

How about death?

Maybe we really belong to different worlds.

I'm just so wrecked these days. With too many people on vacation (remember it's summer time here) and another guy on training, i've got my hands full.

If you're going to punish me with a lifetime of tampo which has no beginning, no ending, it's like a death knell for me.

I woke up with a terrible headache this morning.

Tried to read the sleazy book you gave me so could have something to talk about with you.

Problem is, you have all the time in the world to think of all the reasons why you should be upset with me.

Oh mayee, I'll try to live with all these till I can.

Fact is, it's you i miss forever. It's you I wanna be with and kiss until I melt into the ether. Only to be remembered for the passion I had for you.

And I'd like to freeze the three hours we were together before I left early this month.

But time has to move on. Flowers have to bloom from the bud. Fruits have to ripen. They are either harvested or just fall on the ground and wait for another season for the seed to become sapling.

What's the point?

Time is one of the things that's beyond my control.

Yeah, maybe you don't feel i'm not passionate enough about our newly-revived love.

But you'll never know... coz you probably busy trying to figure out how to extend a season of tampo against me.

It's not fair, esp. at a time when Ive ran out of load and money to buy load. with 8 days to go before payday.

So email is all I'm going to do now.

Kung magtatampo ka and you'll stonewall me, it's your judgment call. It's your choice. It's your freedom.

Just follow your heart.

As i will mine.

----------
From: mayee niproc
Sent: Monday, June 21, 2004 9:08 pm
To: Jay Hilotin
Subject: RE: snubbing

That doesn't even begin to answer my questions. That's all you can say, "sige, magtampo ka"??
 
Magtatampo talaga ako.
 
You always make work your excuse.
 
I was listening last night.  I caught every word you said.  Pero I wasn't interested in discussing it further, kaya wala akong sinabi.  Wala naman akong kaalam-alam sa business.  Tsaka it was 3 AM here, what did you expect?  To top it all off, galit na ako sa 'yo nun. 
 
Lalo pa ngayon.  You're stoking the fire.  Instead of making everything okay.  Ewan.
 
Alam mo bang naiinis ako everytime I remember what you did with that Angela, that you allowed yourself to even get close to a BIMBO like her?  That you held her waist like that and showed me the freaking picture?  Nabubuwisit ako.  And you're not doing anything to help me get over it.  Buti na lang nawala 'yung digicam mo, kung 'di ako ang magtatapon nun sa sahig (o baka sinabi mo lang na nawala, so I won't push it?).  Plus there's the Manens picture. 

And countless other girls you've kissed--doesn't matter if it's "only" on the cheek.  Buti sana kung lesbos, pero hindi.  Who knows who among them gave you a hard-on.  Who knows how many were featured in your liquid dreams.  Who knows what Angela did to you in your daydreams, or in real life.  Who knows where you took her, how much you spent on her, how many times you touched her and WHERE.  I wanna bash her already ugly face.  Oh yes, this is jealousy galore.  Naiinsulto rin ako dahil you even THOUGHT of replacing me with someone like that.  A lowlife.  A SLUT!  Gawd. 
 
And don't even try throwing back "Who knows what Igo and you have done".   I have documentation, 'kala mo.  Jem has read our chat exchange.  I can make you read everything that was ever said between us, if I want to.  But I don't want to.

I think it'll always be unfair.  I'll always be shortchanged.  And it's not by virtue of age.  I actually think your holding out is great--admirable.  What isn't so great is that you almost broke your record...and you did it while claiming to still be in love with me.  I don't know how you could've gone out with other people when you still had feelings for another girl.  Ako 'di ko maisip na lumabas with someone and spend hours with him putting my best foot forward...para saan?  Only to show my true colors after 2, 3 months?  Dating people you don't know that well is a no-no for me.  It's an exhausting exercise.  Sasabihin mo you only did 'cause I encouraged you...  Ha!  And how many things from what I say do I mean when I'm angry?  Don't take everything at face value.  You should know what I really think.  If you don't, that only means we're not on the same wavelength.
 
Sana you're doing something to dislodge these negative thoughts from my overactive mind, ano?  Sana nga.  Pero you're not.  You're not helping any.  And it's sad.  Pathetic, even.
 

Jay Hilotin wrote:

Sige, magtampo ka.

When I woke up, I rushed to the office, no bath, no breakfast. didn't even comb.

toothbrush lang at hilamos.

i was late for the morning meet.

i was upset and tired last night, sort of regretted calling you.

pero okay lang, kasi antok ka na.


> ----------
> From: mayee niproc
> Sent: Monday, June 21, 2004 7:53 pm
> To: Jay Hilotin
> Subject: snubbing
>
> Ang tagal-tagal mo sumagot. Di mo siguro binabasa kaagad. Or you do, pero you put off answering till later.
>
> Sabi ko wag kang complacent. Make me feel loved. And be CONSISTENT! I hate it when you forget what you told me just a minute ago. When I talk to you your mind is somewhere else. Ano ba 'yun? Sayang lang ang tawag kung 'di ka naman pala makakausap nang matino.
>
> And you still don't text before I do. Hinihintay ko na nga ang hapon para mauna ka...pero hanggang gabi pa ang paghihintay. Bakit ka ganyan? It's frustrating (nth time it is), to say the least.
>
> 'Di na kita papansinin hanggang mauna ka. Lagi na lang akong nauuna. Kung 'di rin kita inunahan this year, siguro hanggang ngayon you're giving me the cold shoulder. 'Pag nag-aaway tayo, ako man o ikaw ang nagsimula, ako pa rin ang nauunang mamansin. Ayoko na nang ganyan. Matagal mo na 'yung ginagawa eh...hanggang ngayon ba ganun pa rin ang ibibigay mo sa 'kin? Buti pang ibalik ang lahat sa dati bago ka umuwi, kasi parang ganun naman nga ang nangyayari. Naiinis lang ako sa 'yo ulit.
>
> Sasabihin mo 'di kita naiintindihan; na may trabaho ka, ako wala kaya ganun. Pero bakit, 'di mo ba magawang batiin ako 'pag gising mo sa umaga? Ha, ha? Sige, iintindihin ko. Ang gagawin ko, 'di na kita uunahang pansinin 'pag may trabaho na rin ako. Bahala ka.
>
> _____