Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Forgotten heartwarmers

Ung ibang lines nga were heart warming.

Looks like it was culled from different sources by whoever sent it first. Dinagdagan naman ng ibang nakatanggap bago i-forward.

But it was a nice read, though kinda long. I got it during deadline time and I had to read it again this morning.

X'mas shopping is just part of what Christmas used to mean to me.

I remember I used to be a lot happier when I was a kid.

I marvelled at the first Christmas lights we had. We used to string them around a cypress tree in front of our house. My eyes would play with them on our way out of the house to hear the dawn mass on very cold mornings.

I'd see the other townsfolk happily walking towards the church.

On the "radio phono" set we had, I used to play LPs or 45s of vinyl discs. "Give Love on Christmas Day" by the Jackson 5 was our favorite. We'd all sing it together. What bliss innocence brings. At that time, I didn't know what I wanted out of my life, but I sure loved music.

Just one new shirt and a pair of shoes or slippers during Christmas and I'd be so mighty glad. We used to feast sometimes on tough doughnuts "baked" (actually friend) by my mama, rolled in white sugar.

The Xmas tree in the house was made of tin can, when it was "uso". Later, we'd bring the tree from my mom's classroom after school closes for holiday break.

I cherished the simple lives around me, the poor neighborhood who had next to nothing.

I felt guilty sometimes about having new stuff.

The songs of my childhood still ring in my ears and echo in my heart. That's what I'm trying to avoid these cold, wintry days (and nights). The memories of Christmas. It sure is not easy.

But I realise I can't be a child forever and have to move forward. That's progress, I guess.

And there are other ways of spending it in a meaningful way.


From: mayee c.
Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 11:29 pm
To: Jay Hilotin
Subject: RE: Sa mga in love, na-in love na, at mai-in love pa lang

Maganda yung iba dun...highlight ko sana pero nakakatamad.

Ah, Xmas... Told you before it has no meaning for me... Except an excuse to go shopping and to blow monetary gifts at the mall in one go.

It'll be my first Christmas in years without Mommy and Daddy, and I'm surprised I don't really care. But I do miss them...

It's cold now, yes. Paulan-ulan pa nga eh. It'll get colder, I suppose. And every day I'm assaulted by Xmas songs, and Xmas lights, shoppers and carolers... But they don't matter. Nothing does. I don't feel it's Xmas. There's no cheer at all. Just like my Xmases in the last several years.

No different from yours, so don't worry. Sa ganung lagay, di ka nag-iisa.

Jay Hilotin wrote:

Lovisms... ah, no comment.

O kumusta na ang Pasko mo?

Dito malamig na malamig na. Pero kinakalimutan ko na ang Pasko.

I shun all the Xmas songs stirring in my mind and echo in my ears.

I don't listen to Dubai 92FM or other stations playing Xmas songs, esp those I grew up with.

I shut out the songs I heard since gradeschool. I try to forget their titles, lyrics and the imagery in my mind they represent.

I try to forget my family, the start of Simbang Gabi, symbols of commercialised Christmas.

It's all a big racket.

I try to forget home, songs like "I'll Be Home for Christmas," coz I decided I won't be.

For a long time. I've become an extremist on this issue.

And I don't care if I die with this condition.

I try to forget my Christianity.

I try, I try, I try.

And still keep trying.

> ----------
> From: mayee c.
> Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 2:43 pm
> To: Jay Hilotin
> Subject: Fwd: Sa mga in love, na-in love na, at mai-in love pa lang
> <>


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